The Axman Cometh!

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Sean C
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The Axman Cometh!

Postby Sean C » Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:07 pm

Have you ever seen the show "Conquest"? Here is a small sample: what happens when you give a bunch of guys viking axes and ask them to "figure it out". Some really neat historical notes here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhRCNLMzUMY

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KeithFarrell
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Re: The Axman Cometh!

Postby KeithFarrell » Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:52 am

I saw this clip a while back, and it made me cry! It's just so bad, and so wrong in every way.... What historical notes did you see? My opinion was that everything he said was guff!
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Bill Welch
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Re: The Axman Cometh!

Postby Bill Welch » Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:25 am

I get the feeling, that most of his lessons are learned from trying and not from any type of historical information.

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Myles Cupp
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Re: The Axman Cometh!

Postby Myles Cupp » Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:05 am

Heh, I don't know much of anything about axe combat so to me that wasn't even half as painful as the first minute of this episode:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TTx-39gYqE&NR=1

Many epics lulz at those two guys in plate armor slapping each other. :lol:

Its crazy that before I got into HEMA I thought these dudes knew what they were talking about. :(
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Kron Martial Arts, CA
Psalm 119:89
"For we all acknowledge that it is with the sword that Kingdoms are protected, Religions are defended, injuries are avenged and Nations achieve peace and happiness."
Salvator Fabris, 1606

Alex B
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Re: The Axman Cometh!

Postby Alex B » Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:10 pm

For me, the worst bit of the series was about one minute into this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_55pRyH_ ... re=related
That he compares himself to a historical sword master, when he knows so little about historical swordsmanship seems very wrong to me.

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Jonathan Mayshar
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Re: The Axman Cometh!

Postby Jonathan Mayshar » Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:43 pm

Ack.

I started fast-forwarding the axe episode after I saw the double-bitted axe on the table. And Myles, wow, you found a good one there -- the combat in the first minutes of the broadsword episode is as painfully stagey as anything I've seen put forward as historical.

Not to defend this show, but it is enormously difficult to realistically simulate axe, hammer, polearms, or any type of armored fighting. Crushing weapons crush -- the laws of momentum will not be cheated. SCA foam-and-tape-over-leather-headed axes produce the closest thing to real IMO, if you can set aside the restrictions on targeting, grappling, etc.

We can *approach* reality with steel blunts and blossfechten because swords in that context kill with finesse more than power, or at least they should. But axe combat? I think to do that with HEMA fidelity would require blunts for solo training and SCA-like paddeds for sparring.
Jonathan Mayshar
Kron Martial Arts, Orange County, CA
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Myles Cupp
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Re: The Axman Cometh!

Postby Myles Cupp » Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:44 pm

Even more lulz to be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZo_YIGX ... re=related

Pay close attention to 2:15

Notice anything strange?

His weight is 195 lbs.

As soon as they hand him a sword, his weight jumps to 210 lbs. :lol: :lol: :lol:


PS
I also like how, at the beginning of the episode, they admit they have zero experience with Medieval weapons and then, after only a few minutes of playing around with them, decide that their level of exhaustion "must have been what Medieval knights felt after a few minutes of battle."
Its the most awkward juxtaposition of concepts. On the one hand, Medieval knights would've been under FAR more stress in a real earnest fight for their lives and not just bashing on the other guy's shields. And on the other hand, I am sure a knight who has trained his entire lifetime wouldn't have his shoulders and hips start to hurt after swinging the sword around for a few minutes...
Lifetime HEMAA Member
Kron Martial Arts, CA
Psalm 119:89
"For we all acknowledge that it is with the sword that Kingdoms are protected, Religions are defended, injuries are avenged and Nations achieve peace and happiness."
Salvator Fabris, 1606


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